Week 1 college football picks … ‘Why do we even play?’

Week 1 picks
Why you guys picking games?

Nick Saban addressed rhetorically, profoundly, and angrily during a tangent/rant earlier this month to media members about predictions and picks.

Said Saban: “You guys make all these predictions about everything, about guys who are going to be great players, that have been here for two years. Who’s gonna win all the games? I don’t even know why we play. Why do we even play?”

I have no clue. I’m down with just picking who wins and not playing the games. But that’s just me. I’m clueless.

But so Nick and everyone else won’t have the desire to not play the games, I’ve decided to make my picks without even thinking. That way it won’t really feel like a prediction, even though it is.

(It’s not really prediction if you don’t think about it, right?)

Week 1 picks

Alabama vs. Florida State, Saturday: Alabama, 38-28. Rage on, Nick!

Michigan vs. Florida, Saturday: Michigan, 38-10. That crazy Harbaugh dude. Ha!

BYU vs. LSU, Saturday: LSU, 50-0. I saw that Portland State-BYU game. As Trump would say, “LSU is going to win HUGE. Buh-lieve me.”

West Virginia vs. Virginia Tech, Sunday: Hokies, 35-28. No, wait. Dang it! I thought about it.

Ohio State at Indiana: Hoosier daddy. Buckeyes, 63-0.

Navy at Florida Atlantic, Friday: Navy, 42-30. Support the troops, especially against Lane Kiffin.

Tennessee vs. Georgia Tech, Monday: Tennessee, 24-21. Only watching because it’s the only game on Monday.

Rice vs. Stanford, last Saturday: Stanford, 62-7 … just to make sure you’re paying attention.

Appalachian State at Georgia, Saturday: Upset! … Nope, that takes too much thought. Georgia, 45-10.

Louisville vs. Purdue, Saturday: Louisville, 48-0. A boiler mess

Texas A&M at UCLA, Sunday: Bruins, 28-24. Aggies got no QB?

Incarnate Word vs. Fresno State, Saturday: Fresno State, 100-0. That’s what happens when you play a high school.

Lightning-fast picks

Now here’s some really fast, no-thinking picks, winners only:

Wake Forest, Minnesota, Central Florida,  Cincinnati, Georgia State, Toledo, Oklahoma State, Connecticut, Utah, Arkansas, Memphis, Arizona State, Army, Eastern Michigan, Syracuse, Washington, Colorado, Wisconsin, Northern Illinois …

Clemson, Penn State, Texas, Ball State, Iowa, Michigan State, Missouri, North Carolina, Miami, Pitt, Portland State (yeah, that’s right Beavers), Air Force, N.C. State, Oklahoma, Northwestern, Notre Dame, Virginia …

UAB, Boise State, South Florida, Texas Tech, Kentucky, Mississippi State, USC, Duke, East Carolina, Old Dominion, Marshall, North Texas, Houston, Western Kentucky, SMU, UMass, Baylor, Kansas, Ohio …

Louisiana-Lafayette, Texas State, Kansas State, Auburn, Ole Miss, San Jose State, New Mexico, Nebraska, TCU, Northern Iowa, Vanderbilt, Tulane, Oregon, San Diego State, UNLV, Washington State, Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo. We didn’t start the fire! …

My record for not thinking, 0-0.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *