My-King, Messiah, Cheeseman make 2017 Preseason All-Name Team

All-Name team members
My-King Johnson (left); Divine Deablo (right)

They might not all be good players — some might not even play — but they all have winning names.

After poring through all the rosters for the Power 5, we’ve come up with the 2017 Preseason College Football All-Name team.

One is a king, one is a prince, one is a Messiah, and one is a Cheeseman.

So even if they don’t play, may these names be remembered.

This year’s team:



My-King Johnson, Arizona: Very disappointed to learn his middle name is not “Size.”

Boss Tagaloa, UCLA: At 6-2, 305, he’s “The Boss” and “The Big Man” at the same time.

Royal Silver, Minnesota: Judging from the name, I believe his parents wanted a pony.

DaQuon Hawkins-Muckle, Georgia: Preseason candidate for the Annual East/West Collegiate Bowl


Big Kat Bryant, Auburn: With a name like that, he had to be a linebacker … or a rotund blues guitarist.

Thunder Keck, Stanford: Sounds like an AC/DC song or keen MMA move.

Nunu Cunningham, West VirginiaI now know a Nunu.

Fa’avae Fa’avae, Washington State: Linebacker so nice, he was named … yeah, that’s an old joke.

Defensive backs

Divine Deablo, Virginia Tech: Divine diablo? Must be a conflicted individual.

Marvell Tell III, USC: An internal rhyme is always a plus for the preseason all-name team.

Boobie Hicks, Utah: I’ve met some hicks that you could say were boobs.

Hasan Defense, Kansas: One defensive player who truly can say his name is his word.


Messiah deWeaver, QB, Michigan State: Will he be able to deliver the Spartans?

Running back

Nicodem Pierre, Duke: Quite possibly named after a nicotine replacement therapy.

Soso Jamabo, UCLA: In 2016, he had 323 yards rushing, which, coincidentally, is only SoSo.

Wide receiver

CeeDee Lamb, WR, Oklahoma: Yes, I CeeDee Lamb. It’s next to Dee Lion.

Lil’Jordan Humphrey, WR, Texas: Lil’ hoping for a biggie season.

Tight end

Ceejhay French-Love, Arizona State: You have to admit, that’s a very sexy name.


Prince Tega Wanogho, Auburn: Royalty on the Tigers’ line (Son of Prince Philip U.D. and Princess Onome Wanogho)

Cole Chewins, Michigan State: Most people prefer the warm chewin’.

Popo Aumavae, Oregon: Remember kids: Always watch out for the Popo.

Gerhard de Beer, Arizona: “Here come the frat boys, again! Someone Gerhard de Beer!”

Dillon Middlemiss, Colorado: Just make sure he blocks near the sideline.

Special teams names

Matthew Cluck, PK, Texas Tech: Despite the name, this guy ain’t chicken.

Camaron Cheeseman, LS, Michigan: You can try to knock him down, but you can’t cut the Cheeseman.

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